Our first night together.

After the fun of the labour K, Dylan and I were transported to the recovery room within the hospital, it was kinda like a cheap motel, strange lumpy three piece with matching curtains, but after the starkness of the labour ward anything was welcome.

K run me a bath and I sank into the water in blissful relaxation, not to gross you out the water turned pink with the blood from my body. That said it was what was needed to get me relaxed, I returned to the bedroom part of the room to find K sat on the bed staring at Dylan in the hospital cot a look of complete love on his face.

I climbed into the single bed, with plastic sheeting (still lots of bleeding happening) and pulled the thin hospital sheets over my body, looking at the two guys in my life. Smiling K pulled the cot over to the side of the bed and climbed onto the bed with me. Within minutes he was asleep, slowly he managed to maneuver himself into a comfortable position and I was left lying on my side. I was tempted to shove him and wake him but he looked so peaceful, I pulled the covers over us and tried to sleep.

Dylan only woke once through the night - angel child - finding from some primordial depths the right way to hold him in my arms and croon him back to peaceful sleep. I've never really been much of a baby person and this natural mothering instinct kinda shocked, but pleased me. His little face looked up at me and I down at him and I knew love like I've never known it before!

Putting him back in the crib I climbed back into the bed, shoving K across the bed and stared with perfect bliss at the little being in the crib next us.

At 7.30 the door opened and Angie, another lovely nurse who handled our change over, came in with the blood pressure monitor. My stats were taken one more time, all fine, K took himself off to the sitting room area and snoozed.

Angie then took me though changing and cleaning Dylan. We also discussed breast feeding and she showed me how to get him latched on. Last night Dylan didn't want to feed, I thought it was normal for babies to immediately feed from the breast, but apparently some don't, it can take up to 24hrs for them to want to feed. However even just holding baby skin on skin helps with the bonding, it certainly helped me as not being able to feed him left me feeling a little bit lacking - but how could I say this without anyone thinking I was strange!

So there I lay, with Dylan at my breast expecting it all to just happen. Id been to the antenatal classes, I'd read all the leaflets and books and knew all about latching the baby on. The breastfeeding mantra flitting through my brain
"Belly to belly
Nose to nipple
No pain"

And suddenly I was faced with small baby, small mouth, big boobs. There was just no way I could hold him belly to belly. Angie advised me to try it with a pillow, which we did, but that wasn't much better, he still seemed reticent to latch on. She said not to worry, but I couldn't help feeling like I was failing here.

Finally we placed Dylan on a pillow and I tucked him under my arm, into the rugby ball position. His little mouth opened and I squished my nipple into his mouth. A sharp shooting pain filled my breast and my toes curled, then suddenly he was sucking. Angie smiled and patted me on the shoulder "that's good, see his ears moving, his jaw going up and down, that tells me he's latched on properly".

Engulfed with joy at being able to feed my baby I didn't think to mention the pain I had felt, all the books said it shouldn't hurt when baby latched on, and just beamed at K. "Look I'm feeding him", he smiled back at me. "Well done".

Angie went off to get us breakfast after informing us that the peadiatric doctor would be round and we would also need to wait for the hearing test to take place before we could leave. So much for a six hour discharge - we sat on the bed again just staring into the crib, fingers entwined and a happy silence pervading the room.

Breakfast eaten and bags packed, we waited for the Paed doctor and the hearing test lady. Both turned up and did their things, Dylan was given the all clear, dad was called and we left the hospital. One thing we hadn't taken into account was neither K nor I knew how to fit the car seat, lesson 1 learnt!!!