I spent this morning attempting to make up for my rather lax weekend. I walked down to the shops, it was lovely, windy but still nice to just plod on down. I have to say that the walk back with two heavily laden bags was slightly just off the nice... my arms ache!
I changed my bed, did several loads of washing and spoke to Hooch. It was during this conversation that I finally had to face that Im now totally clear of my antidepresants. And Im back to a rather emotional me!!!
Hooch sent me a photo she had taken whilst attending a ball down in London. She has over the last couple of months lost an incredible 40lbs. Following an accident as a child her front teeth were a stained brown colour, I have to admit that after talking to her for about 3 seconds you totally forget this, but its always been an issue for Hx and because she can she got it fixed.
In this photo she looked slim, she looked confidant and she was smiling!! Even as my bridesmaid she didnt smile (that may have been the dress) but just seeing her looking so fantastic was just too much for my raw red emotions and I burst into tears.
Just as I was pulling myself together didnt the 'cahw' go and call me... Blub!
Anyway following a prolonged conversation we said goodbye, Hx went off to do some work and I went off to play with my compter, whislt watching some of the DVDs that I have never quite found the time to watch.
2.30 came and in walked my wee man. My heart sored and as he ran to me, crying "Ma" I knew that as much as I have loved this lazy weekend, I love having him in my life much more.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Daniels visit.
Keefe was responsible for capturing pictures of Daniel and Dylan whilst on his visit. Its not one of the things he is great at, so these are the pics I have ....
Call me a couch potatoe...
I cannot believe it, I've had a weekend all to myself, excluding sing and sign yesterday morning and I've done ABSOLUTELY nothing. I mean it, nothing, nada, niet...
Ive sat on the couch moulding my butt into a deepening well of wobbliness. As each moment passes I have felt the pounds increase. That image has not been helped by the fact that I've eaten and drunk more this weekend than I've eaten and drunk for weeks.
I've plebbed!
Oh my god, I feel so guilty!
But it has been relaxing!
Ive sat on the couch moulding my butt into a deepening well of wobbliness. As each moment passes I have felt the pounds increase. That image has not been helped by the fact that I've eaten and drunk more this weekend than I've eaten and drunk for weeks.
I've plebbed!
Oh my god, I feel so guilty!
But it has been relaxing!
Friday, March 14, 2008
Dylan is leaving me...
Or at least Dylan is going to stay with his daddy for the weekend. Daniel, his brother, is coming up to stay, the plan is to take him to Flamingo Land on Sunday, a day which we normally spend at Mum and Dads.
We spent the morning playing in the living room. His speach and vocabluary are becoming really defined, stringing words together to make sentances, which Im sure only close family understand, but it does make me so proud.
Ruth and Josh came to play with us at 10.30 and we had a lovely morning just chatting and watching the two boys play together.
Da Boyz!!
After lunch, which I cooked, with Nigela like precision, we all headed off, Ruth and Josh back home and me to drop Dylan off at Mums so I could head on to Sing and sign.
The latter part of the afternoon/evening was spent watching my mum and dad playing with Dylan. The do dote on him and it makes my heart smile to see how much he loves them too.
Cuddles from Nanma San
Nanma is constantly hounded to "come play" and she is not allowed to sit down for five minutes on her own. Not that she minds this of course, encouraging him to jump and bounce around the house like a small hooligan on acid.
Gandie and he are just mates, playing chase, hiding and sharing fruit.
"Its mine" - "No its mine"
We spent the morning playing in the living room. His speach and vocabluary are becoming really defined, stringing words together to make sentances, which Im sure only close family understand, but it does make me so proud.
Ruth and Josh came to play with us at 10.30 and we had a lovely morning just chatting and watching the two boys play together.
Da Boyz!!
After lunch, which I cooked, with Nigela like precision, we all headed off, Ruth and Josh back home and me to drop Dylan off at Mums so I could head on to Sing and sign.
The latter part of the afternoon/evening was spent watching my mum and dad playing with Dylan. The do dote on him and it makes my heart smile to see how much he loves them too.
Cuddles from Nanma San
Nanma is constantly hounded to "come play" and she is not allowed to sit down for five minutes on her own. Not that she minds this of course, encouraging him to jump and bounce around the house like a small hooligan on acid.
Gandie and he are just mates, playing chase, hiding and sharing fruit.
"Its mine" - "No its mine"
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Im ready to go back to work.
Yep, its official, one of the outcomes of the work fiasco was that I had to go through Occupational Health to decide how and when I returned to work. The last time I went I had a meeting with a very officious bloke, who was more interested in the sound of his own voice than actually discussing what my situation and needs were. So to put it bluntly I was not looking forward to this meeting.
The letter asked you to get there 10 mins early, which I did, I then sat for another 30 mins waiting for the arrival of said bore. Each passing moment made me more angry and I spent all the time twisting my hair, biting my fingers and going through the things I would say to the officious ole bugger.
Then this lovely smily lady turned up, full of applogies, she asked me to come with her and situated me in her office, apologising again for the delay and saying how she "understood how angry I would be feeling"...
My anger slowly subsided and I was left smiling along with Ethelda Brown. Before too long I was telling her about the last couple of years. She sat writing notes and nodding and I kept thinking "God Shannon, shut up, you sound like a real hypercondriac with serious reality issues".
But once I had run out of breath she smiled, sat back and said "My God, what a couple of years you've gone through". Then she proceeded to discuss with me my best options for return, ways to relax at night time and how to cope with returning to work and leaving Dylan.
I left feeling that I hadnt been totally crap these last five months, that actually things had been addressed and I had come out of it feeling stronger and more able to cope with life.
Its amazing how a nice smile and understanding nod can change your perception on things.
The letter asked you to get there 10 mins early, which I did, I then sat for another 30 mins waiting for the arrival of said bore. Each passing moment made me more angry and I spent all the time twisting my hair, biting my fingers and going through the things I would say to the officious ole bugger.
Then this lovely smily lady turned up, full of applogies, she asked me to come with her and situated me in her office, apologising again for the delay and saying how she "understood how angry I would be feeling"...
My anger slowly subsided and I was left smiling along with Ethelda Brown. Before too long I was telling her about the last couple of years. She sat writing notes and nodding and I kept thinking "God Shannon, shut up, you sound like a real hypercondriac with serious reality issues".
But once I had run out of breath she smiled, sat back and said "My God, what a couple of years you've gone through". Then she proceeded to discuss with me my best options for return, ways to relax at night time and how to cope with returning to work and leaving Dylan.
I left feeling that I hadnt been totally crap these last five months, that actually things had been addressed and I had come out of it feeling stronger and more able to cope with life.
Its amazing how a nice smile and understanding nod can change your perception on things.
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Im going back to work - Its official
Met up this morning with Mick, Chris (Big Bos) and Suzanne Hayward from HR. Kinda went the way I expected it, things Mick had previously said were changed, so I looked like a very paranoid wretch, and had totally misunderstood his comments - whats new there then!!!
But the basic outcome is that once I have had my meeting with Occupational Health I'm going back for 3 days a week, to be arranged with Manager at Howdon Community centre, and I will be working as an ICT facilitator.
Howdon is a good centre, so Im actually looking forward to it, the staff there are great and the punters who were coming in for the sessions I was doing there seemed really eager and very enthusiastic about ICT.
All good news then.
Just can't help wishing I could find that 68yr old millionaire with a heart defect, then I would have to go back.
But the basic outcome is that once I have had my meeting with Occupational Health I'm going back for 3 days a week, to be arranged with Manager at Howdon Community centre, and I will be working as an ICT facilitator.
Howdon is a good centre, so Im actually looking forward to it, the staff there are great and the punters who were coming in for the sessions I was doing there seemed really eager and very enthusiastic about ICT.
All good news then.
Just can't help wishing I could find that 68yr old millionaire with a heart defect, then I would have to go back.
Monday, March 03, 2008
2 is the Magic number.
Yes today my bambino turned two.
We had such a lovely day. This morning he got out of his own bed and came into my bedroom "Ma - milk". We went downstairs and had a leisurely breakfast then I began the "get ready" for the quiet family party I had invited folks too.
Now this has actually caused a bone of contention in my family, because in two weeks time I'm going to have a joint party with some of the girls I know whose babies are born around the same time. I decided that today then would just be Mum, dad, Keefe (Cough) me and Dylan opening cards and presents. But everyone else in my family seemed to think that I needed to have cake and invite at least a few of his friends to celebrate the big day. To keep the peace I invited, last thing last night, the girls from my NCT group - even though they too would be coming to his joint party, and a new acquaintance Renata, with her lovely son, Danny.
Dylan and I headed off to the shops to fill up on party food and a cake tin. You can't make a cake without a cake tin. Shopping has become somewhat torturous. Dylan hates being in a trolley and even following Dr Tania's advise and taking things to distract him or offer him to eat, we still have a bit of a battle on our hands. Luckily he doesn't do much screaming and tantrum throwing and when it happens I'm getting better at calming and distracting "Oooh Dylan look bake beans"
So recyclable bags filled and Dylan once again contained in the trolley I headed off home with great resolve about cooking Dylan's cake. I had decided to make a carrot cake, not your traditional birthday cake, but he loves carrot cake at the moment.
In true "Shannon madness" the recipe didn't work and instead of a plump raised cake I had a thin slice of uck. The filling and topping were a crime to culinary skills and it looked like I was heading towards a true cake disaster.
Dylan was running round my legs, wholewheat flower was flying everywhere and the carrots were running low. I decided on the ole "two layers is better than one" I made another layer, filled the middle with orange butter spread, covered the top in a Delia based recipe and plonked a candle on the top "Walllahhhhhh"
I had brought food for all 14 of us and proceeded to cook a batch of chicken legs, Indian bits and pieces and making the filling for sandwiches. In the middle of basting chicken legs and sorting our ribs Ruth texted to say that sadly she wouldn't be able to make it.
I hoovered and quickly cleaned the house, or at least the bits of the house that people might go into. Next text - Danny and Renate wouldn't be coming! Hmm just hoping that those coming will be hungry.
Dylan was more than happy during my domestic trials and tribulations to play with his new cooker. Even though I had said to everyone "DO NOT BUY PRESENTS" I had succumbed myself and brought him a cooker, quite fab and he loves it.
Keefe collected Dylan at 12 to "take him off my hands for an hour or so, taking him to Adventure Land to run him ragged".
Cake disaster diverted, food cooking and house relatively clean at 2pm I felt as if I was "in control", normally I would be reaching for the wine at this stage in the firm belief that a party doesn't swing without alcohol, but for some reason being drunk didn't hang properly.
Mum and dad turned up with the tent, yes I did say tent and Weebles castle.
They just don't make them like they used too!
We blew up balloons, cooked the last of the food, stuck up banners an generally got the house ready. Just after 2.30 Keefe turned up with Dylan and his Thomas the Tank engine track, with 20 balloons the house was getting rather full. Dylan ooh'ed and ahhh'ed through the whole process, loving it.
At 3pm Annette turned up with a trampoline. Fiona and Thomas turned up soon after and it was official the house was full - I kinda thanked my lucky stars that Ruth and Renate hadn't been able to make it.
The party, if I say so myself was fab, Orla, Thomas and Dylan ran round like hooligans, playing in the tent.
Thomas, a tent and twenty balloons.
Jumping on trampolines and causing the cats to have an apoplexy. There was food a plenty, conversation flowed and it seemed that everyone had a great time.
My carrot cake was a hit!!!
By 6pm the house was almost back to normal, Dylan lay supine on the sofa with his bottle of milk an contented look on his face. He looked so happy. We, or should I say, ate the last of the party food, bathed and then watched an hour of Winnie the Pooh.
The perfect ending to a somewhat chaotic but perfect day!
We had such a lovely day. This morning he got out of his own bed and came into my bedroom "Ma - milk". We went downstairs and had a leisurely breakfast then I began the "get ready" for the quiet family party I had invited folks too.
Now this has actually caused a bone of contention in my family, because in two weeks time I'm going to have a joint party with some of the girls I know whose babies are born around the same time. I decided that today then would just be Mum, dad, Keefe (Cough) me and Dylan opening cards and presents. But everyone else in my family seemed to think that I needed to have cake and invite at least a few of his friends to celebrate the big day. To keep the peace I invited, last thing last night, the girls from my NCT group - even though they too would be coming to his joint party, and a new acquaintance Renata, with her lovely son, Danny.
Dylan and I headed off to the shops to fill up on party food and a cake tin. You can't make a cake without a cake tin. Shopping has become somewhat torturous. Dylan hates being in a trolley and even following Dr Tania's advise and taking things to distract him or offer him to eat, we still have a bit of a battle on our hands. Luckily he doesn't do much screaming and tantrum throwing and when it happens I'm getting better at calming and distracting "Oooh Dylan look bake beans"
So recyclable bags filled and Dylan once again contained in the trolley I headed off home with great resolve about cooking Dylan's cake. I had decided to make a carrot cake, not your traditional birthday cake, but he loves carrot cake at the moment.
In true "Shannon madness" the recipe didn't work and instead of a plump raised cake I had a thin slice of uck. The filling and topping were a crime to culinary skills and it looked like I was heading towards a true cake disaster.
Dylan was running round my legs, wholewheat flower was flying everywhere and the carrots were running low. I decided on the ole "two layers is better than one" I made another layer, filled the middle with orange butter spread, covered the top in a Delia based recipe and plonked a candle on the top "Walllahhhhhh"
I had brought food for all 14 of us and proceeded to cook a batch of chicken legs, Indian bits and pieces and making the filling for sandwiches. In the middle of basting chicken legs and sorting our ribs Ruth texted to say that sadly she wouldn't be able to make it.
I hoovered and quickly cleaned the house, or at least the bits of the house that people might go into. Next text - Danny and Renate wouldn't be coming! Hmm just hoping that those coming will be hungry.
Dylan was more than happy during my domestic trials and tribulations to play with his new cooker. Even though I had said to everyone "DO NOT BUY PRESENTS" I had succumbed myself and brought him a cooker, quite fab and he loves it.
Keefe collected Dylan at 12 to "take him off my hands for an hour or so, taking him to Adventure Land to run him ragged".
Cake disaster diverted, food cooking and house relatively clean at 2pm I felt as if I was "in control", normally I would be reaching for the wine at this stage in the firm belief that a party doesn't swing without alcohol, but for some reason being drunk didn't hang properly.
Mum and dad turned up with the tent, yes I did say tent and Weebles castle.
They just don't make them like they used too!
We blew up balloons, cooked the last of the food, stuck up banners an generally got the house ready. Just after 2.30 Keefe turned up with Dylan and his Thomas the Tank engine track, with 20 balloons the house was getting rather full. Dylan ooh'ed and ahhh'ed through the whole process, loving it.
At 3pm Annette turned up with a trampoline. Fiona and Thomas turned up soon after and it was official the house was full - I kinda thanked my lucky stars that Ruth and Renate hadn't been able to make it.
The party, if I say so myself was fab, Orla, Thomas and Dylan ran round like hooligans, playing in the tent.
Thomas, a tent and twenty balloons.
Jumping on trampolines and causing the cats to have an apoplexy. There was food a plenty, conversation flowed and it seemed that everyone had a great time.
My carrot cake was a hit!!!
By 6pm the house was almost back to normal, Dylan lay supine on the sofa with his bottle of milk an contented look on his face. He looked so happy. We, or should I say, ate the last of the party food, bathed and then watched an hour of Winnie the Pooh.
The perfect ending to a somewhat chaotic but perfect day!
Sunday, March 02, 2008
A song in D-miner.
Some times when listneing to a song you want to add your own verses......
Would you love meeeee
Would you love me baby
Would you love me
ifff....
I
kissed your husband/partner/live in lover.
Would you love meeeee
Would you love me baby
Would you love me
ifff....
I slep with yoooooooour best mate...
Would you love meeeee
Would you love me baby
Would you love me
ifff....
I slept with yourrrr uncle....
Would you love meeeee
Would you love me baby
Would you love me
ifff....
I said I dont love you
Would you love meeeee
Would you love me baby
Would you love me
ifff....
I said now is not the time
Would you love meeeee
Would you love me baby
Would you love me
ifff....
I said "where were YOU?"
Would you love meeeee
Would you love me baby
Would you love me
ifff....
I said "hold me tight"
Would you love meeeee
Would you love me baby
Would you love me baby ifff....
Would you love meeeee
Would you love me baby
Would you love me
ifff....
I
kissed your husband/partner/live in lover.
Would you love meeeee
Would you love me baby
Would you love me
ifff....
I slep with yoooooooour best mate...
Would you love meeeee
Would you love me baby
Would you love me
ifff....
I slept with yourrrr uncle....
Would you love meeeee
Would you love me baby
Would you love me
ifff....
I said I dont love you
Would you love meeeee
Would you love me baby
Would you love me
ifff....
I said now is not the time
Would you love meeeee
Would you love me baby
Would you love me
ifff....
I said "where were YOU?"
Would you love meeeee
Would you love me baby
Would you love me
ifff....
I said "hold me tight"
Would you love meeeee
Would you love me baby
Would you love me baby ifff....
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Loosing a baby once is misfortune...
Loosing a baby twice is just plain stupid. Yes following our little bit of excitement on Sunday I had yet another incident today.
Keefe and a work colleague of his were kind enough to drop off a single bed from mums. I've decided to move Dylan back into the little bedroom, in the hope that the smaller room and smaller bed will encourage him to sleep in his own room. Anyway, the bed was put into his, almost, decorated room and we played together for about an hour in there.
I came downstairs to make a cup of tea and started playing with the computer... after all he was safe upstairs. About 20 minutes passed and I went back up stairs because there wasn't a single sound coming from the bedroom. He wasn't there.
I searched in all the cupboards - he has started to hide - I searched in all the bedrooms, I searched in the bathroom. I came downstairs and searched in all the rooms. Where could a little boy be hiding?
I went back up stairs feeling a slow panic creeping in. I searched all the rooms again, under the beds, behind the curtains, calling for him.
NOTHING!
I ran downstairs, the back door was closed, the front door was closed.
I ran back upstairs and looked in all the rooms again, under the beds, behind the curtains, could I have missed him?
NOTHING.
Then I went into the spare room, in panic I pulled out the bed, the cupboard, the chair and there he was fast asleep on the floor. He must have gone in there to hide and crashed. I picked him up and took him back to his room.
God I'm not sure I can do this mothering thing. I'm spending most of my time in a state of panic! Is it allowable to tie your child to your hip!!!
Keefe and a work colleague of his were kind enough to drop off a single bed from mums. I've decided to move Dylan back into the little bedroom, in the hope that the smaller room and smaller bed will encourage him to sleep in his own room. Anyway, the bed was put into his, almost, decorated room and we played together for about an hour in there.
I came downstairs to make a cup of tea and started playing with the computer... after all he was safe upstairs. About 20 minutes passed and I went back up stairs because there wasn't a single sound coming from the bedroom. He wasn't there.
I searched in all the cupboards - he has started to hide - I searched in all the bedrooms, I searched in the bathroom. I came downstairs and searched in all the rooms. Where could a little boy be hiding?
I went back up stairs feeling a slow panic creeping in. I searched all the rooms again, under the beds, behind the curtains, calling for him.
NOTHING!
I ran downstairs, the back door was closed, the front door was closed.
I ran back upstairs and looked in all the rooms again, under the beds, behind the curtains, could I have missed him?
NOTHING.
Then I went into the spare room, in panic I pulled out the bed, the cupboard, the chair and there he was fast asleep on the floor. He must have gone in there to hide and crashed. I picked him up and took him back to his room.
God I'm not sure I can do this mothering thing. I'm spending most of my time in a state of panic! Is it allowable to tie your child to your hip!!!
Sunday, February 24, 2008
I lost my baby!
Today I met up with Annette to do a quick walk - we had a bit of a meander around Tynemouth station, there is a small market that takes place on Saturdays and Sundays its full of bric a brac and bits and pieces, some of it nice, some of it nasty, but its generally a nice meander.
Dylan was given his obligatory pennies and he decided to buy something for Orla (Bless his little cotton socks) whilst paying the man for the green teddy bear I let go of Dylan's hand - for two seconds, or at least as long as it takes to take the money out of my purse, hand it over and thank the bloke - and bam, my son had gone.
I have to admit to panicking, I ran to Annette, "Dylan's gone", we both scanned the area in panic. No sign, I ran back to the stall, the bloke hadn't seen which way he had gone, he asked his friend on another stall - No sign.
I just kept shouting "He's two, small, blond, curls, blue eyes, he's wearing a bright orange jacket". No one had seen him. I spotted two police 'people' circling the stalls and ran to them "My baby is gone". The young woman office looked at me and in one second took in the total panic. "Its ok, what does he look like"....
"He's two, small, blond, curls, blue eyes, he's wearing a bright orange jacket".
"Is that him, over there". I turned to see my wayward wanderer happily perusing a box of toys. I ran to him, I grabbed him, I cried...
The police officer came over to me "Are you ok? I know exactly how you feel, Ive a little one about the same age... do you need a cup of tea?".
I know it sounds stupid, but I really did feel totally at a loss. In those few moments I had found his little body and buried him, had a nervous breakdown and plummeted into deep depression, ending up being eaten by cats and that would be my just deserts for being such a bad mother!!!!
Dylan was given his obligatory pennies and he decided to buy something for Orla (Bless his little cotton socks) whilst paying the man for the green teddy bear I let go of Dylan's hand - for two seconds, or at least as long as it takes to take the money out of my purse, hand it over and thank the bloke - and bam, my son had gone.
I have to admit to panicking, I ran to Annette, "Dylan's gone", we both scanned the area in panic. No sign, I ran back to the stall, the bloke hadn't seen which way he had gone, he asked his friend on another stall - No sign.
I just kept shouting "He's two, small, blond, curls, blue eyes, he's wearing a bright orange jacket". No one had seen him. I spotted two police 'people' circling the stalls and ran to them "My baby is gone". The young woman office looked at me and in one second took in the total panic. "Its ok, what does he look like"....
"He's two, small, blond, curls, blue eyes, he's wearing a bright orange jacket".
"Is that him, over there". I turned to see my wayward wanderer happily perusing a box of toys. I ran to him, I grabbed him, I cried...
The police officer came over to me "Are you ok? I know exactly how you feel, Ive a little one about the same age... do you need a cup of tea?".
I know it sounds stupid, but I really did feel totally at a loss. In those few moments I had found his little body and buried him, had a nervous breakdown and plummeted into deep depression, ending up being eaten by cats and that would be my just deserts for being such a bad mother!!!!
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Beach Play
Dylan is cutting down on his sleep - I think! He doesnt seem to want to sleep through the day, but this means that sometimes he crashes out way too late, like 4pm. Which means that he doesnt want to go to bed on time cause he is still wired. So Im attempting to ensure that he doesnt crash late afternoon, by keeping him active from his afternoon nap up till bed time.
This afternoon Annette and I went to the beach, a little walk by the sea - great!!!
Dylan had other ideas though, walking was definitely not something on his mind. Walking knee deep into the water was on his mind,
sitting in the water was on his mind, lying in the water - yep that was there too...
After 20 mins of chasing waves and laughing like idiots Dylan announced he was wet, cried his heart out and then allowed me to change him. Sometimes you just dont know what to do for best.
This afternoon Annette and I went to the beach, a little walk by the sea - great!!!
Dylan had other ideas though, walking was definitely not something on his mind. Walking knee deep into the water was on his mind,
sitting in the water was on his mind, lying in the water - yep that was there too...
After 20 mins of chasing waves and laughing like idiots Dylan announced he was wet, cried his heart out and then allowed me to change him. Sometimes you just dont know what to do for best.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Im going to be a God Mother...
I'm a bit overwhelmed, today Annette asked me if I would be Orla's Godmother, I cried, we hugged, she laughed at me.
I'm so very, very proud and honoured and all of that stuff...
Now, the serious bit - what the hell does a Godmother do!!!!
Babies Beautiful
A bit of DIY at home with the Missus
Orla at home in Switzerland
I'm so very, very proud and honoured and all of that stuff...
Now, the serious bit - what the hell does a Godmother do!!!!
Babies Beautiful
A bit of DIY at home with the Missus
Orla at home in Switzerland
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Old McDonald had a farm...
Its half term and we know that most places would be manic, so we set off today for the Whitehouse Farm, reasoning that its big and even with crowds it wouldn't be too chaotic. Its about 30 mins up the A1 and a rather pleasant drive, Annette and I meandered through the usual diverse range of conversations, I'm not sure if its because she is Swiss, or just because we get along so well, but we have the most strangest, honest, revealing conversations. Never a dull moment!!
Any Hoo - we got to Whitehouse farm and waited in line with all the other 100's of mummies and daddies who had had the same idea (bugger them). Dylan was very non British and decided after 10 mins of waiting in line that the best thing to do was run down to the beginning of the que and push on through. Most folks thought it was funny, but there were a few who tutted at this blatant show of "pushing in".
Hauled back and made to stand in line he winged and whined about "PIG". We eventually got to the paying in Shed to find one very harassed lady - my inability to provide my membership card didn't go down too well and we were eventually just waved through - she obviously had far too much to deal with!
Once inside we viewed the giant rabbits, the goats
Don't be scared little goat, I'm your friend
Can't you tell she is farm born and bred!
Be nice goaty or the sheep gets the lot
The budgies, the PIGS, the wallabies, the deer (Dylan still insists that they are goats), the sheep
With a Ba, Ba here and
the cows
Annette and Dylan with a Swiss Cow.
Any Hoo - we got to Whitehouse farm and waited in line with all the other 100's of mummies and daddies who had had the same idea (bugger them). Dylan was very non British and decided after 10 mins of waiting in line that the best thing to do was run down to the beginning of the que and push on through. Most folks thought it was funny, but there were a few who tutted at this blatant show of "pushing in".
Hauled back and made to stand in line he winged and whined about "PIG". We eventually got to the paying in Shed to find one very harassed lady - my inability to provide my membership card didn't go down too well and we were eventually just waved through - she obviously had far too much to deal with!
Once inside we viewed the giant rabbits, the goats
Don't be scared little goat, I'm your friend
Can't you tell she is farm born and bred!
Be nice goaty or the sheep gets the lot
The budgies, the PIGS, the wallabies, the deer (Dylan still insists that they are goats), the sheep
With a Ba, Ba here and
the cows
Annette and Dylan with a Swiss Cow.
"Moooo-ving on"
It really is a gorgeous place to meander and very child friendly. Dylan and Orla loved interacting with the animals, I think Annette enjoys it too....ohhh go on, and me too!
"Go on, do your Cow again Dylan"
Squeals of joy pervaded the afternoon and both babes tried out their growing vocab and noises - "MOOOOOOO"
We had a frantic meal, service in the canteen was little better than the entrance shed, and then headed off for a meandering drive back through the countryside. God I'm so lucky to have places like this to visit and friends like these to go with.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Valentines Day.
Valentine's Day is a holiday celebrated on February 14. In North America and Europe, it is the traditional day on which lovers express their love for each other by sending Valentine's cards, presenting flowers, or offering confectionery. The holiday is named after two early Christian martyrs named Valentine. The day became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished.
Valentines Day - The day of declairing love, of sharing with your partner, lover, husband, wife, significant other that you love them.
Why just on this day?
I woke this morning expecting nothing, Im not in a situation to be loaded down with cards and flowers. But my one conciliation was knowing that I probably wouldn’t be the only girl in the world, who wasn’t waiting for the postman to come to my door laden with gifts. And in a way that made me happy.
Annette and Susan confirmed my suspicion that romance dies soon after child birth by declaring that their partners had not exactly bestowed gifts of flowers, chocolates and Diamonds upon them.... not even a card.
But we discussed it and we all agreed that it was really just another poopy commercialisation, a day when flowers cost the earth and those who haven’t got anyone to adore and love are made to feel inadequate.
Who needs it?
I got home to have my next door neighbour deliver a huge box with a lovely red ribbon tied around it, upon opening my box of loveliness out popped a balloon, in the box was a little fibre optic bracelet - the sort 16 year olds wear on the dance floor to show how cool they are, some little chocolates, a little light - no idea what it does a red rose and some rose petals.
You should have seen my smile - God Im a hypocrite.
I have since discovered who my anonymous admirer is - and that’s my secret, but I can say it wasn’t Colin Firth....
Valentines Day - The day of declairing love, of sharing with your partner, lover, husband, wife, significant other that you love them.
Why just on this day?
I woke this morning expecting nothing, Im not in a situation to be loaded down with cards and flowers. But my one conciliation was knowing that I probably wouldn’t be the only girl in the world, who wasn’t waiting for the postman to come to my door laden with gifts. And in a way that made me happy.
Annette and Susan confirmed my suspicion that romance dies soon after child birth by declaring that their partners had not exactly bestowed gifts of flowers, chocolates and Diamonds upon them.... not even a card.
But we discussed it and we all agreed that it was really just another poopy commercialisation, a day when flowers cost the earth and those who haven’t got anyone to adore and love are made to feel inadequate.
Who needs it?
I got home to have my next door neighbour deliver a huge box with a lovely red ribbon tied around it, upon opening my box of loveliness out popped a balloon, in the box was a little fibre optic bracelet - the sort 16 year olds wear on the dance floor to show how cool they are, some little chocolates, a little light - no idea what it does a red rose and some rose petals.
You should have seen my smile - God Im a hypocrite.
I have since discovered who my anonymous admirer is - and that’s my secret, but I can say it wasn’t Colin Firth....
One month on and
Im tired, stressed and it’s primarily my fault. I have come to realise that a lot of my problems start with my inability to deal with stuff straight on. I have to ponder on it, mulch it round, have constant conversations with myself, deciding the outcomes of conversations with other people, to - in short - totally fuck up the situation and not act when I should.
Im supposed to be going back to work, I went in to see my Dr and discussed my return with him, and I was all set for it. Then I met up with my Mick (he of the Tatehood) and flammy (Yes that is Flammy).
When it comes down to the basics things at work are changing and my position is going to be one of the positions that change. But in the interim, no one can tell me what Im supposed to do, or when these changes will happen. So Im in limbo, but as far as Mick was concerned I would be returning to work on the 3rd March full time. Now there has been no discussion on this, no "consultation". He just sent me a letter and told me to sign it.
I’ve spent the last two weeks panicking because I needed to sort out child care for Dylan, I was contemplating life as a full time worker - not having any quality time with Dylan and it made me weep. It made me stressed, it’s made me have many a sleepless night cause Im chewing the cud on "what ifs" and "Whys".
But yesterday I took the bull by the horns and confronted my fears; I call occupational Health and queried my return. They knew nothing of it. Then I called my Union rep (Yes Bruvvers Im a fully paid up member) and my Union rep thinks that everything that is happening to me is "bullying" and "not in accordance to procedures". She has taken the bit between her teeth and is out for blood.
I’ve no idea if this means I dont have to go back to work, Im hoping a phased return will be given to me, which will mean I return to work slowly... Im hoping that they will be able to negotiate with work and get me my part time hours... Im hoping.
Im supposed to be going back to work, I went in to see my Dr and discussed my return with him, and I was all set for it. Then I met up with my Mick (he of the Tatehood) and flammy (Yes that is Flammy).
When it comes down to the basics things at work are changing and my position is going to be one of the positions that change. But in the interim, no one can tell me what Im supposed to do, or when these changes will happen. So Im in limbo, but as far as Mick was concerned I would be returning to work on the 3rd March full time. Now there has been no discussion on this, no "consultation". He just sent me a letter and told me to sign it.
I’ve spent the last two weeks panicking because I needed to sort out child care for Dylan, I was contemplating life as a full time worker - not having any quality time with Dylan and it made me weep. It made me stressed, it’s made me have many a sleepless night cause Im chewing the cud on "what ifs" and "Whys".
But yesterday I took the bull by the horns and confronted my fears; I call occupational Health and queried my return. They knew nothing of it. Then I called my Union rep (Yes Bruvvers Im a fully paid up member) and my Union rep thinks that everything that is happening to me is "bullying" and "not in accordance to procedures". She has taken the bit between her teeth and is out for blood.
I’ve no idea if this means I dont have to go back to work, Im hoping a phased return will be given to me, which will mean I return to work slowly... Im hoping that they will be able to negotiate with work and get me my part time hours... Im hoping.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Dylan is so growed up
Today I went out with Annette, we played in a park, or should I say Dylan and Orla played in a park (I only went down the big slide once) and then we went for a coffee.
On the way home I snapped this pic of Dylan and Orla
Juvenile Delinquents in training - I can hear the ASBO's hitting the floor!
On the way home I snapped this pic of Dylan and Orla
Juvenile Delinquents in training - I can hear the ASBO's hitting the floor!
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Im living with Keefe again.
Ha, how many of you just splutterd all over the computer board! That sentance is enough to make anyone splutter, but its just a convenience thing. His convenience my stupidity.
Every year the caravan site closes down for 8 weeks, usually we have stayed at mums, but this year for some sick and unknown reason I offered my home as refuge. Its going to be hard.
We had a huge argument the day before he moved in, he was rude, arrogant and totally unrespectful - but then I am a selfish "oscar" who thinks the world should do whatever I want.
Hmmm going to fun over the next 6 weeks.
Every year the caravan site closes down for 8 weeks, usually we have stayed at mums, but this year for some sick and unknown reason I offered my home as refuge. Its going to be hard.
We had a huge argument the day before he moved in, he was rude, arrogant and totally unrespectful - but then I am a selfish "oscar" who thinks the world should do whatever I want.
Hmmm going to fun over the next 6 weeks.
Monday, February 04, 2008
Simple Friends Vs Real Friends
A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.
A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes >early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend calls you after you had a fight.
A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!
Sometimes I have to wonder if Im a real friend or a simple friend to some of my friends....
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.
A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes >early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend calls you after you had a fight.
A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!
Sometimes I have to wonder if Im a real friend or a simple friend to some of my friends....
Monday, January 28, 2008
Blue Reefe Aquarium.
In our search to find something to do that might entertain the bairns I have become a member of the aquarium in Cullercoats, it used to have a bit of a crappy reputation, but either being totally desperate and needing somewhere to take my nearly 2 year old has changed my perception or this place has actually improved over the years since I last went there.
There are lots of fish to see, some very beautiful and some a bit bizarre, there is also a seal tank, which I'm kinda against, but hey ho (wind your neck in)
Seals - Where?
WooooooW
and an otter thang, which stinks to high heaven - have to say that to date I have never seen an otter.
It kills a good hour and Dylan always seems to have fun running round and hiding from me. I actually spend most of my time in the aquarium in mid panic, imagining that I'm going to get round the corner after chasing my somewhat elusive son to find him swimming in one of the tanks.
Anyway Annette, Orla, Ruth, Josh, Dylan and I all headed down there today for a walk around and the obligatory coffee.
Orla and Josh looking at Sharks
Ruth and Josh
Today, the babes seemed more interested in the bit of a swing park
Ruth and Orla just hanging!
Dylan convinced Josh that playing in the shrubs was much more fun that the silly slide,
They seek him here....
Where is that Dylan gone?
All in all a rather pleasant day.
There are lots of fish to see, some very beautiful and some a bit bizarre, there is also a seal tank, which I'm kinda against, but hey ho (wind your neck in)
Seals - Where?
WooooooW
and an otter thang, which stinks to high heaven - have to say that to date I have never seen an otter.
It kills a good hour and Dylan always seems to have fun running round and hiding from me. I actually spend most of my time in the aquarium in mid panic, imagining that I'm going to get round the corner after chasing my somewhat elusive son to find him swimming in one of the tanks.
Anyway Annette, Orla, Ruth, Josh, Dylan and I all headed down there today for a walk around and the obligatory coffee.
Orla and Josh looking at Sharks
Ruth and Josh
Today, the babes seemed more interested in the bit of a swing park
Ruth and Orla just hanging!
Dylan convinced Josh that playing in the shrubs was much more fun that the silly slide,
They seek him here....
Where is that Dylan gone?
All in all a rather pleasant day.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Boobs gone bad - NHS Even worse!
Well it’s been another of those days that makes me wonder why and if Im really getting my life back together again. I spent the morning with Helene and Archie, Groine and Fin and Emily, Ellie and Ella. We had major fun running round Kikis like idiots, sliding down slides and paddling through the ball pools.
A couple of times I felt quite sore, but all it all it actually felt quite good to be out and about again. Dylan loved the interaction with the other kids and I was surprised at how he was playing with them. Over the last couple of weeks he has, along with me, been pretty house bound. We got out a few times, but I was unable to play with him or really bounce around how we usually do.
Anyway, 2 hours of playing and we were almost ready to leave, only Dylan discovered the paint table and wailed to be allowed to play. After 20 mins of painting almost everything in site including the chair, his hair and his top I decided enough was enough. Everyone was staring at us as if I was mad to let my child carry on in this bohemian way. I loved it, he loved it and the mess he made would be easily cleared up.
Just as we were leaving Jo, with Solomon and Helen with Raphael came in. I haven’t seen Jo or Sol for months – Solomon’s birthday me thinks, which was in October. So we played for another 20 mins, Solomon showed Dylan how to bump down the stairs on his belly – looking forward to him doing that at home and I caught up with Jo.
So why all the explanation, well whilst I was running round like a mad un, my boobs were feeling really sore. Every now and then I would get a shooting pain right from my nipple. I kinda, in my usual way just ignored the bally thing. But by 3 o’clock this afternoon I decided enough was enough and I exposed my breasts to my mother.
She took one look and called the Drs. I bumbled of to see Dr Mac at 5.30. He took another look and explained that I was going to have to be admitted to hospital cause me slight infection from earlier on had got worse and with me already being on oral antibiotics I was now going to have to hit the big time – intravenous drip…. YIPEEE!
So off me poodled, bag packed thinking I would be admitted pretty quick as they had already agreed I had a bed. But no… 4hrs later Im sat here typing on my little puter cause Im bored witless and don’t want to read my book in case I can’t access my puter on the ward.
The only thing that is keeping me entertained is spider on my puter and the drunk running round A&E yelling "KEEEEE-A-Gannnnn - he's our man. For those of you who dont do football (snigger that includes me) Keving Keegan has apparently just taken over as Manager for Newcastle - and this is a good thing.
God somebody save me Im talking football!!!
A couple of times I felt quite sore, but all it all it actually felt quite good to be out and about again. Dylan loved the interaction with the other kids and I was surprised at how he was playing with them. Over the last couple of weeks he has, along with me, been pretty house bound. We got out a few times, but I was unable to play with him or really bounce around how we usually do.
Anyway, 2 hours of playing and we were almost ready to leave, only Dylan discovered the paint table and wailed to be allowed to play. After 20 mins of painting almost everything in site including the chair, his hair and his top I decided enough was enough. Everyone was staring at us as if I was mad to let my child carry on in this bohemian way. I loved it, he loved it and the mess he made would be easily cleared up.
Just as we were leaving Jo, with Solomon and Helen with Raphael came in. I haven’t seen Jo or Sol for months – Solomon’s birthday me thinks, which was in October. So we played for another 20 mins, Solomon showed Dylan how to bump down the stairs on his belly – looking forward to him doing that at home and I caught up with Jo.
So why all the explanation, well whilst I was running round like a mad un, my boobs were feeling really sore. Every now and then I would get a shooting pain right from my nipple. I kinda, in my usual way just ignored the bally thing. But by 3 o’clock this afternoon I decided enough was enough and I exposed my breasts to my mother.
She took one look and called the Drs. I bumbled of to see Dr Mac at 5.30. He took another look and explained that I was going to have to be admitted to hospital cause me slight infection from earlier on had got worse and with me already being on oral antibiotics I was now going to have to hit the big time – intravenous drip…. YIPEEE!
So off me poodled, bag packed thinking I would be admitted pretty quick as they had already agreed I had a bed. But no… 4hrs later Im sat here typing on my little puter cause Im bored witless and don’t want to read my book in case I can’t access my puter on the ward.
The only thing that is keeping me entertained is spider on my puter and the drunk running round A&E yelling "KEEEEE-A-Gannnnn - he's our man. For those of you who dont do football (snigger that includes me) Keving Keegan has apparently just taken over as Manager for Newcastle - and this is a good thing.
God somebody save me Im talking football!!!
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