The big Operation

Well I set off for the hospital with dad, because traffic in Newcastle was horrible, we were going in on the metro. Ive not been on the metro for ages it was actually quite nice. Had a chat with dad, stressed about the operation, bit my nails...

Dad took me to buy two new bra's. 34DD and 34E. Its been years since Ive brought a bra in a "normal" store, it was quite exciting, so many choices. Of course I had been told my the hospital that I needed to purchase sports bras, but the idea of purchasing something pretty, with lace and matching pants in months to come made me really happy. I left dad to do the rest of his shopping and with my ruck sack headed up to the hospital. I hate hospitals, so walked with some trepidation up to ward 46,"Sorry" they said, "you've been moved to ward 46". I headed back down the corridor with my head thrumming. Did I really want this operation, did I really need it? Couldn't I just carry on how I was, was I so wrong? I stood in the hallway for about 5 minutes talking myself into and out of the operation. Eventually I took my courage in my hands and pushed open the doors.

The staff on ward 46 were lovely, I even had my own room, with on suite bathroom. My god, all on NHS. Within a hour of me being in they had took my blood, done my pre-op shots and I was just sat waiting for Mr Collis to show up. A very nice young lady came and asked if I minded donating my spare flesh, so they could do some tests and stuff to find the cure for something or other and I happily signed away my excess boobs.

Dad dropped in to see how it was all going and got me a book. As he was arriving back with the book Mr Collis turned up. You have to tell Drs the truth, Ive seen "House" and know people do lie to their Drs, but I tend to deal with those in the medical profession as demi-gods. So when he asked me if I smoked I admitted to smoking occasionally - erm... quite often... well almost daily. Dad looked at me with shock - "You smoke!"

That little shock out the way nothing else mattered, so when Mr Collis asked me if he could see my breasts I immediately whipped em out - as you do! He then got out a black felt tip pen and proceeded to draw on me. Nipples, cut marks, explaining how and what he was going to do. "I've got a small op to do at 5, then will come for you, your my main attraction" he said with a confidant smile and a bit of a twinkle.

I was given one of those lovely hospital robes, which cover nothing and told "We'll be back to pick you up soon". The head anaesthetist came in and introduced himself to me, did I have any questions "No", did I understand what was going to happen "Yes", was I happy? "Maybe". 5pm came all to quickly, I sat attempting to read my book remaining calm.

Its strange how slowly the clock can tick, when your dreading something. But before I knew it, the door was opening Margaret walked in "come on Shannon, we're off to Surgery". We walked, me trying not to show my ass to the other ward occupants and Margaret chatting away about Christmas. My friendly anaesthetist was there with his team, chatting to me like I was just out for a walk. "Pop up on here, take off your jewellery, socks, any thing else you want to ask us?".

Lets do it then, said the little assistant guy with a cheeky smile "Just a small prick, but don't hold it against me". I laughed ....

Four hours later I was waking up. God I hurt, especially my lips, my first thought was bugger I cant feel my lips, my second was "who the heck is that whistling Christmas songs". It was a nurse called Marie - who was so smiley and calming. "Shannon can you hear me, don't move, your operation went really well, Im just looking after you until you feel a bit less drowsy. You did really well." Im just going to give you some more morphine...."

I woke up again back in my room. Michelle and Tracy both shuffling round me, moving me with care. "Shannon, welcome back, you did great, how do you feel?" "hmrrrgh ... ghmrrr... happyrmmrmr". "THats good Shannon, you just lie there me and Tracy will check on you reguarly" "Water?" "Yehfhhf"

Were just going to give you some more pain killers.... mmmmmhhhhhhmmmmm.

I woke, my head like a brick. My eyes focused on the glass of water and I pushed out my hand. Water, spilled.. Michelle and Tracy in like a shot cleaning me up, changing the sheets, laughing at my bungling speech, which was finally coming back. My lips still felt like they didn't belong to me, my tongue didn't seem to know how to move in my mouth. And my chest... well that looked damn small!!!

My little drip seemed to ease most of the pain and every now and then either Michelle or Tracy would come in and administer something yummy that made the world go into fluffy mode.

I woke relatively late (from my experience in hospitals)about 7.30 by Michelle bringing me breakfast. "Can you eat? How do you feel? How are your lips?". Apparently I had kept them in stitches talking about my lips and how I was going to be the next Angelina Jole lookalike. I don't remember any of it, but I had, through the night, managed to get myself out of bed and go into the toilet. I had seen my lips and freaked cause they were really, really, really big. Both girls had to assure me that they hadn't got the operation wrong and plumped up my lips instead of getting rid of my boobs.

They thought it was hilarious. I did too, until I saw the bloody things. I was less Angelina Jole and more Lesley Ash after her little run in with Collagen. Not a pretty sight.

On the whole though, apart from my lips hurting like hell. I actually felt quite good. I had had a bleed through the night, but there was extra padding added and it felt good. My boobs were small, what did I expect, but not too small. The pain seemed manageable and I was looking forward to going home. There was alot of humming and harring. Mr Collis came, with a shed load of pimple faced students and checked out my new boobs. "Very nice" was the general consensus. "Can I go home now?" "Lets see how you are in an hour or so".

My friendly anaesthetist came in and asked how I was...I complained about my lips (ungrateful wretch that I am) he laughed and explained that I had had a really bad reaction to the anesthetic and spasmed, chomping down on my lips once the tube had been removed and thrashing like crazy - hence the additional night time care and concern about me going home.

"I feel fine, really, apart from my lips".

Pretty soon after Michelle came in to say good bye and tell me that I "was free to go". I made a call to mum and dad and packed myself up. I got dressed, a bit of a trail, and sat myself down to watch the last 30 minutes of my TV allotted time. My stay in the hospital had been great, yes read it and weep, I had a good stay. Everyone was lovely, they kept me informed and I didn't at any time feel out of control or at a loss. Annemarie, the ward sister came in with my pain killers and cleared me free to go. Dad turned up and I tenderly walked from Ward 46, feeling like a new woman.