Passport fun

Today it cost me £20.50 in a fun attempt to get a passport photo for Dylan. Yes even at 11 weeks the wee man has to have his own passport, which as far asI'm concerned is a total travesty and just one more opportunity for the government to make money out of us.

Anyway I looked on the passport site to make sure the photo I sent met their rather "crappy" criteria. The photographs must be:
recent (taken within the last month);
45millimeterss (mm) high x 35millimeterss (mm) wide (please do not trim your photographs to meet this condition);
taken against an off-white, cream or light grey plain background so that your features are clearly distinguishable against the background;
printed on low-gloss, plain white photo-quality paper (with no watermarks, embossing or printing on the back);
undamaged, for example, by creases from paperclips;
of you on your own (no toys, dummies or other people visible);
a close-up of your head and shoulders so that your head, from the bottom of your chin to your crown is between 29mm and 34mm high; and
clear of writing on the front and back.

The photographs must also:
be in sharp focus and clear;
have a strong definition between the face and background; and be printed professionally. Photographs printed at home are not likely to be of an acceptable quality.

The photographs must show:
no shadows;
you facing forwards, looking straight towards the camera;
a neutral expression, with your mouth closed; your eyes open and clearly visible (with no sunglasses or heavily tinted glasses, and no hair across your eyes); no reflection or glare on your glasses, and the frames should not cover your eyes (you may find it easier to remove your glasses); your full head, without any head covering, unless it is worn for religious beliefs or medical reasons; and nothing covering your face. Please make sure nothing covers the outline of your eyes, nose or mouth.

So armed with a cream blanket I headed into WB to Woolworths on the way there I enforced for Dylan the importance of not wearing his sunglasses and hat - pah!

I pushed in da money and sat with Dylan in my arms attempting to get him in the middle circle of the screen. We wiggled and jiggled into place, there was no sign of me, Dylan was looking straight ahead with eyes open and mouth closed. I pulled the cover over my head and pressed the button. "three, two, one" spoke the machine and snap.

A gorgeous picture of Dylan looking downwards, eyes closed and my hands playing a ratherprevalentt part - *sigh*. Luckily it was one of those preview your snap machines so I pressed the button to reshoot....

"Your photo will be developed in five minutes" - Arghhh. Futiley I pressed the button again but no luck.

I needed help.

An elderly gentleman who was doing some DIY shopping was accosted and recruited to press the green button and tell me when Dylan was clear. We wiggled and jiggled into place, there was no sign of me, Dylan was looking straight ahead with eyes open and mouth closed. I pulled the cover over my head, my new found accomplice ok'd the shot and pressed the button.

"Three, two, one" went the machine and I felt my baby do a little jiggle - my assistant giggled, "he's just jumped out of shot". I pulled the cover from my head and attempted once again to press the button to reshoot.

"Your photo will be developed in five minutes" - Bugger!!!

Totally stressed out I bemoaned the stupidity of these preview machines, I kicked the damn thing whilst attempting not to swear in front of Dylan - my elderly assistant backed away mumbling about screws and missing.

Just as I was about to give up on the whole photo thing, Dylan would just never have to travel, I was approached by a lady with two children clinging to her legs "trying to get photos done", we grinned in motherly comradeship. "Happy snaps round the corner do them, they are expensive but you at least know you will get a decent picture". I grinned at her again and headed off with Dylan.

Sure enough Happy snaps took the photo no problem, they even had a little baby beanbag to position him correctly. The photo looks ace, but I just wonder how effective it will be in five years time? I guess as long as he isn't wearing sunglasses and a hat there wont be a problem.