Deep Breath....

Its been a real hard couple of months, but and I say this with some slight trepidation, I think I'm through the blue!

I'm now back in the smokey house, its lovely, clean, light and better than before, although I still wake some nights and listen carefully. Tracy has relieved some of my worries by talking me through the new electric codes and my new box is apparently tops.

I have boxes of stuff I forgot I have, and boxes of stuff I no longer need. I'm definitely a girl who needs little stuff. But even then I'm already filling cupboards with microwave poachers and bits and bobs that we don't really need but look cool.

The insurance is working through and final payments should be made soon. I'm thinking maybe Dylan and I need a holiday, maybe to Italy to see Marci, I don't know. I'm just thinking we deserve some "together time".

Sing and sign is taking off with great success, Ive already half my classes booked next term, and since the Council have deemed me redundant that's got to be a good thing. Official redundancy date is the 12th December. I'm scared that sing and sign will be my only income, but I think its achievable. Maybe!!!

Dylan is growing up so quickly, sometimes I wonder if this small human actually came from me. He has a beautiful personality that runs through chaos into genius via monster. He keeps me sane and sends me crazy all within the space of a few minutes.

I'm feeling a bit low today, even though Ive done two lovely sing and sign sessions this morning, so Ive brought myself a bottle of wine and I'm going to clean the floors, have a bath and go to bed. All in the next three hours. Yes I know its only 3.15, but I can, so I will.

That is what counselling has given me, its OK to do these things, as long as I'm truthful to myself and those I love. I also don't need to apologise for being sad when I am. So if Ive "ignored" you for a while, bear with me. Normal service will resume once Ive found my energy and zest. Tonight though, is mine for plebbing and wallowing in my new home.