The wall cracks.

my neighbour, who for the last couple of weeks has been ignoring me in the noisiest possible way, spoke to me this morning.

She informed me she had to wash the bonnet of my car on Saturday morning cause she was sick on it on Friday! She thinks her drink was spiked and when she got back home it was my car she chose to spew up on, but I'm not taking it personally, after all she cleaned it up.

I thanked her for her due care and attention and got into my car - its definitely a thaw!!!

Its dark.

Dylan has been struggling with going to bed. Actually Ive been struggling to put him to bed. It used to be 8pm, but now its nearer 9pm, which means the usual tidying and general upkeep gets left undone and its driving me crazy.

So the other night I started his usual bed time drill, dinner, play, bathtime, then quiet time with a DVD of his Lordships choice. All went well until I suggested we went to bed, then suddenly my quiet little sleepy head began to bounce on the sofa, run round the living room and generally became an active time bomb.

After half an hour of saying No, I finally got him upstairs and in bed. We lay quiet for a while, me thinking "this is it", then suddenly he was up again, "Its moooorning mommie", "Lets look outside", "I know, lets play cows and farmers". I lay him back down on the bed and in exasperation sighed, "Mommie has her eyes closed, its dark, its bedtime,close your eyes, put your head on your pillow and go to sleep".

All was quiet. Then a little voice said "mommie... its dark cause you have your eyes closed"

Well lets face it you cant argue with his logic!!

Its been a strange old couple of weeks.

God I don't even know where to start with this one. I'm suddenly the bitch from hell and I don't know how I got here.

Jo and Lynne have both sent me to "Coventry", I would laugh if it were not so hurtful. I got a most vitriolic letter from Jo calling me a nutter and telling me I drink too much, that I'm a self centred soul who turns everything into a me situation.

I'm not going into it to much, but sorry to turn this situation into a me situation, I'm really hurt that Ive been villainised (Sp) this way. I'm left trying to explain to Dylan why he can't go across and play with his friend Ryan, Lynne has made it clear that we are not welcome, and it hurts so much.

The morning of the funeral the card to the flowers I brought for Ron, was thrown across the fence. Jo's letter made it perfectly clear that I was not welcome at the funeral.

I want to sell up and move out of the area. I felt alone and very unsure of myself. What did I do wrong to bring such hatred to my door. Where did I go wrong? Am I really such a nasty drunken bitch, who is self involved and attention seeking?

Please don't answer that, I'm not sure I can read the replies!