Visit from the Perenatal Nurse.

Lisa came today, she is a part of a team that deals with women who are post/anti natal. She was lovely and I only cried once. Why did I cry? Because I was talking about my fear of loosing Dylan. The sensible part of me knows it's not going to happen, everyone has told me so, but it is there constantly in the back of my mind. If I let go of my feelings, if I give in to this darkness that nips at me I will loose myself totally. The Chasm is deep and dark and I feel as if Im sitting on the edge.

So I have to hold on tight to my emotions, to remain in control. The downside being Im finding it hard to talk to anyone.

On the up - Dylan is going in leaps and bounds with his walking/crawling. He stood and bawled today because he was stuck on the table and wanted desperately to be sitting but couldnt figure out how to get to the floor. He really is a quick learner. Within about 10 minutes he was happily pulling himself up and sitting back down again all with his "how clever am I smile".



Bless him he really does make the grey skies blue.