I need to be shot. I cant even write it just yet. I'm stupid and a danger to the world.
Bad, bad, bad....
Urgh!
Hooch, thank you for my card, I will eventually find the power to call. Give me time!! Yes, more time please...
Monday, May 25, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Tablets = Numb
Its been a week since I went to see Dr Mac and he gave me my happy pills, Ive gone through sickness, nausea and dizzy spells, Ive spent the weekend sat on the sofa doing nothing, not even drinking or eating.
I made it to sing and sign, and got through the classes but I'm numb. A haze is beginning to fall, at the moment I'm finding it peaceful. I went to be last night at 7.30 and slept till Dylan woke me at 5.45 (Arghhh in any one's world). I never sleep all night but I did last night.
This morning I just feel "outside" myself. I'm neither sad nor happy, neither angry or at peace. I can see good things, I can hear laughter, I can even join in, but I'm away from it.
I'm OK with this for now. The tablets will kick in properly in another week or so and an equilibrium will be restored. From there I can move forward to finding the me that I've become disassociated from.
"I'm fine".
I made it to sing and sign, and got through the classes but I'm numb. A haze is beginning to fall, at the moment I'm finding it peaceful. I went to be last night at 7.30 and slept till Dylan woke me at 5.45 (Arghhh in any one's world). I never sleep all night but I did last night.
This morning I just feel "outside" myself. I'm neither sad nor happy, neither angry or at peace. I can see good things, I can hear laughter, I can even join in, but I'm away from it.
I'm OK with this for now. The tablets will kick in properly in another week or so and an equilibrium will be restored. From there I can move forward to finding the me that I've become disassociated from.
"I'm fine".
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Sad face
"Mummy, why is you got your sad face on" Said Dylan
"Cause mummy is sad Dylan, but its okay, she isn't sad at you"
Gently he reaches for me, his lips and nose covered in snot.
Kiss!
"There mummy, I kiss you and now you is happy!"
Ahhh if only it were this simple.
"Cause mummy is sad Dylan, but its okay, she isn't sad at you"
Gently he reaches for me, his lips and nose covered in snot.
Kiss!
"There mummy, I kiss you and now you is happy!"
Ahhh if only it were this simple.
Monday, May 11, 2009
happy talking...
You got to have a dream, to make a dream come true....
Bad lyrics from a hyped 80's song. Although I kinda have a vague memory of my mum running through the dunes in Cornwall, throwing off her clothes and urging us to chase the fireflies - weird.
I've been to see the Dr, Im definately depressed, probably more unbalanced than the first time round. Ive had some really awful thoughts these last couple of weeks, Ive crawled around in the slime in my head and I dont like what I am. But that said I also realise that Im slightly off kilter of reality, of the real me. Which brings me back to the angst ridden question "who the hell am I".
Talk to my friends and Im one person for them, another for some one else. My family dont even know me, sometimes I think they dont want to know me. I am the vessle that produced the "grandson, the nephew", nothing more, but nothing less either.
I know everyone does this multiple personality thing, but Im wondering why. Are we protecting ourselfs, morphing into something to please, to hide, to decieve!
I cannot and will not give in to the thoughts in my head which tell me the world would be a better place without me. I know this is not true. But sometimes the whispers sound like truth and I have to admit that the possibility of just stopping for a while, not dealing, not caring sounds almost too good to be true.
Bad lyrics from a hyped 80's song. Although I kinda have a vague memory of my mum running through the dunes in Cornwall, throwing off her clothes and urging us to chase the fireflies - weird.
I've been to see the Dr, Im definately depressed, probably more unbalanced than the first time round. Ive had some really awful thoughts these last couple of weeks, Ive crawled around in the slime in my head and I dont like what I am. But that said I also realise that Im slightly off kilter of reality, of the real me. Which brings me back to the angst ridden question "who the hell am I".
Talk to my friends and Im one person for them, another for some one else. My family dont even know me, sometimes I think they dont want to know me. I am the vessle that produced the "grandson, the nephew", nothing more, but nothing less either.
I know everyone does this multiple personality thing, but Im wondering why. Are we protecting ourselfs, morphing into something to please, to hide, to decieve!
I cannot and will not give in to the thoughts in my head which tell me the world would be a better place without me. I know this is not true. But sometimes the whispers sound like truth and I have to admit that the possibility of just stopping for a while, not dealing, not caring sounds almost too good to be true.
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
May, May I...
Well I'm blue, in fact I'm more than blue, I'm in a deep blue funk. And as much as I want to stop I cant, Ive lost it, lost the ability to communicate, lost the ability to see what is right and what is not. Lost the ability to see lightness and can see only the dark places and they scare me.
Ive had a pretty good month - I know I'm going to be able to afford the sing and sign franchise, I performed in a play, Ive had my interview for work and feel fairly confident about having a job at the end of the process but for all this positive, the cloud sank slowly and I ran away from it, choosing to do nothing about it.
Well I didn't so much run as crawled into a corner and pulled the cover over my head. I'm hiding, I don't want to come out and face this world.
I guess with all the shit that I'm feeling, and I know it is just me feeling it, its not real, my real problem is that Dylan is bearing the brunt of my slide back into the darkness. I'm loosing control with him and I'm scared I'm going to end up hitting him, hurting him!
I'm loosing friends cause I cant talk to them, the answerphone takes all my calls and when I do eventually find the strength to talk I'm spiky, so I don't cause I don't like being spiky.
Its been coming for weeks, and Ive done nothing to stop it, in a way this is a safe place for me to be, I can fall into the emptiness, embrace it. I'm feeling brittle, like one more small shake and the world is going to shatter into a thousand pieces and I wont be able to come back.
Ah shit, what the hell am I doing...
Ive had a pretty good month - I know I'm going to be able to afford the sing and sign franchise, I performed in a play, Ive had my interview for work and feel fairly confident about having a job at the end of the process but for all this positive, the cloud sank slowly and I ran away from it, choosing to do nothing about it.
Well I didn't so much run as crawled into a corner and pulled the cover over my head. I'm hiding, I don't want to come out and face this world.
I guess with all the shit that I'm feeling, and I know it is just me feeling it, its not real, my real problem is that Dylan is bearing the brunt of my slide back into the darkness. I'm loosing control with him and I'm scared I'm going to end up hitting him, hurting him!
I'm loosing friends cause I cant talk to them, the answerphone takes all my calls and when I do eventually find the strength to talk I'm spiky, so I don't cause I don't like being spiky.
Its been coming for weeks, and Ive done nothing to stop it, in a way this is a safe place for me to be, I can fall into the emptiness, embrace it. I'm feeling brittle, like one more small shake and the world is going to shatter into a thousand pieces and I wont be able to come back.
Ah shit, what the hell am I doing...
Thursday, April 16, 2009
March!
March has been somewhat of a high high, low low month. Dylan's birthday was lovely, but was somewhat marred by Shaun, my brother loosing his keys. His strop at the end of the party was pretty fantastic, although he was much cooler than he has been at times gone by, his anger still put a splot on the day.
Dylan has had various illnesses this month and the whole, ill thing was over ridden by mum going into hospital on the 3rd March for her triple heart op. It was all pretty traumatic, but after a couple of hard weeks she is now back on track and getting better with each day.
Ive had several run in's with Keefe, all down to the fact that he commits to something then lets me down. I'm trying a new approach, which is to hold him to his word. If he says he will be here for a set time, he gets 30 mins grace (several people have said this is too long, but its what I'm working with at the moment) then if he doesn't show up, I leave, change plans whatever. It seems to be working but maybe more on this later.
Ive also come off my lighter life diet. I lost 2 stone 3lbs. I felt fantastic but I wasn't really sticking with the program at the end, and whilst I didn't achieve as greatly as Hooch, it has helped me get back down to a manageable weight. I'm managing the eating with slimming world - its just nice to be able to eat something solid. I also do intend to loose the last 7-10lbs to get to my target weight. My friend Annette is monitoring my weight gain, telling me if I'm looking fat or not. Its good to have friends.
Actually Annette and I went through a pretty rough spot for a couple of weeks. I hit high sensitivity on a day she was hitting pregnancy paranoia and it wasn't pretty. Long story short she called me in, told me to account for myself, which I amazingly did, even if it took me a while to do it, and now we are back on track again, had an amazing breakfast with her this morning.
Work is shitville, I'm really not certain what is going to happen there, so I'm just keeping my head down and attempting to get on with whatever they throw at me, whilst dealing with the various illnesses and traumas of life.
Sing and sign is also weird, Jane has offered me the franchise, but each month the deal changes and its gone from affordable to almost out of my reach, I'm just going to have to wait and see what her final figure is to whether I can afford it. This is just one more of those things I'm not really dealing with very well.
Dylan and I have been going through a hard spot this last month, he has developed a personality and I cant deal with it. Actually its not that simple but I have quite often over this month totally lost it with him. He has spent more time in the naughty corner than I care to deal with. Ive actually put myself there once or twice, for my own atrocious behaviour. God, this parenting stuff, it just ain't easy is it?
Anyway, that's kind of my catch up. I will blog individual stuff later, but I just wanted to say, I am alive, I am reading your blogs - and loving them, and I am hoping to get in touch with many of you sooner, rather than later.
Dylan has had various illnesses this month and the whole, ill thing was over ridden by mum going into hospital on the 3rd March for her triple heart op. It was all pretty traumatic, but after a couple of hard weeks she is now back on track and getting better with each day.
Ive had several run in's with Keefe, all down to the fact that he commits to something then lets me down. I'm trying a new approach, which is to hold him to his word. If he says he will be here for a set time, he gets 30 mins grace (several people have said this is too long, but its what I'm working with at the moment) then if he doesn't show up, I leave, change plans whatever. It seems to be working but maybe more on this later.
Ive also come off my lighter life diet. I lost 2 stone 3lbs. I felt fantastic but I wasn't really sticking with the program at the end, and whilst I didn't achieve as greatly as Hooch, it has helped me get back down to a manageable weight. I'm managing the eating with slimming world - its just nice to be able to eat something solid. I also do intend to loose the last 7-10lbs to get to my target weight. My friend Annette is monitoring my weight gain, telling me if I'm looking fat or not. Its good to have friends.
Actually Annette and I went through a pretty rough spot for a couple of weeks. I hit high sensitivity on a day she was hitting pregnancy paranoia and it wasn't pretty. Long story short she called me in, told me to account for myself, which I amazingly did, even if it took me a while to do it, and now we are back on track again, had an amazing breakfast with her this morning.
Work is shitville, I'm really not certain what is going to happen there, so I'm just keeping my head down and attempting to get on with whatever they throw at me, whilst dealing with the various illnesses and traumas of life.
Sing and sign is also weird, Jane has offered me the franchise, but each month the deal changes and its gone from affordable to almost out of my reach, I'm just going to have to wait and see what her final figure is to whether I can afford it. This is just one more of those things I'm not really dealing with very well.
Dylan and I have been going through a hard spot this last month, he has developed a personality and I cant deal with it. Actually its not that simple but I have quite often over this month totally lost it with him. He has spent more time in the naughty corner than I care to deal with. Ive actually put myself there once or twice, for my own atrocious behaviour. God, this parenting stuff, it just ain't easy is it?
Anyway, that's kind of my catch up. I will blog individual stuff later, but I just wanted to say, I am alive, I am reading your blogs - and loving them, and I am hoping to get in touch with many of you sooner, rather than later.
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Happy Birthday Dylan.
Its been a really long time, I should have posted this ages ago, so for those of you who note that the date of posting and the day of release dont match, bug me not, please!!! I do intend to catch up, but... ahhh heck... you know the drill.
The party was great, as always I organised it from start to finish. Keefe turned up, helped Dylan to unwrap the presents, forgot to make a note of who gave what and then left at the end.
Despite that, it was a lovely day and so good to see him playing with his friends. Its amazing what a difference this year has made, but more on that later... ohhh so much more.
Anyway... here it is, my Birthday collage - yes I know its cheating but its cute!
Ahhh - love him!!!
The party was great, as always I organised it from start to finish. Keefe turned up, helped Dylan to unwrap the presents, forgot to make a note of who gave what and then left at the end.
Despite that, it was a lovely day and so good to see him playing with his friends. Its amazing what a difference this year has made, but more on that later... ohhh so much more.
Anyway... here it is, my Birthday collage - yes I know its cheating but its cute!
Ahhh - love him!!!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Potty Training...
Its a piece of piss....
EXCUSE ME - how can you get a piece of piss? It's runny, it goes all over the place, its uncontainable, especially is squirting from a small boys willie... its just never going to be a piece of something!
That rant done though, we, or rather Dylan, has finally mastered potty training. He has done so well and each time he gets there my heart sings with pride at the way my little man is developing.
I know I tried it last year, but really, I should have listened to everyone one else and just gone with my own instincts. Last year it was horrible, both Dylan and I felt like failures, cause the wee bloke just wasn't ready. It all comes down to peer pressure, everyone else seemed to have stopped using nappies, so why hadn't my child. So I forced the wee man to sit on the potty, I held him down, forcible (well maybe not) but at times I felt like it...
I had thoughts that ran along the lines of "if everyone else has done it, does this mean Dylan is slow?", "Will he always be behind everyone else?". "Will I eventually pull up to a Macdonalds and feel a surge of pride as my child asks "Dwant fries wid that!".
So for a whole week, Dylan and I did battle. At the end of the week in October I hung my head and cried into the pillow of failed mothers. Dylan didn't want to use the potty, he understood the process, he knew what to do but he just didn't want to do it.
So we didn't!
Yet at the beginning of January I just thought, go on, one more try and I got the potty out again, and this time we have sailed through. of course there have been one or two accidents, primarily because Ive been slow, or the wee hasnt been as contained as it should have been - we girls wee down, boys dont! Or a mess was made because his potty attached itself to his bottom and when he stood up the wee that was in the potty was no longer in the potty, but these have been handled with calm and a pile of kitchen towels and disinfectant. Generally he is happy to tell me when he needs a wee or a poo and he tells me with plenty of notice. I'm even - get me - considering ditching the nappies at night time because he is nearly always dry at night time too...
So that's it, this months grin is caused by Dylan, my darling boy being able to "go potty".
EXCUSE ME - how can you get a piece of piss? It's runny, it goes all over the place, its uncontainable, especially is squirting from a small boys willie... its just never going to be a piece of something!
That rant done though, we, or rather Dylan, has finally mastered potty training. He has done so well and each time he gets there my heart sings with pride at the way my little man is developing.
I know I tried it last year, but really, I should have listened to everyone one else and just gone with my own instincts. Last year it was horrible, both Dylan and I felt like failures, cause the wee bloke just wasn't ready. It all comes down to peer pressure, everyone else seemed to have stopped using nappies, so why hadn't my child. So I forced the wee man to sit on the potty, I held him down, forcible (well maybe not) but at times I felt like it...
I had thoughts that ran along the lines of "if everyone else has done it, does this mean Dylan is slow?", "Will he always be behind everyone else?". "Will I eventually pull up to a Macdonalds and feel a surge of pride as my child asks "Dwant fries wid that!".
So for a whole week, Dylan and I did battle. At the end of the week in October I hung my head and cried into the pillow of failed mothers. Dylan didn't want to use the potty, he understood the process, he knew what to do but he just didn't want to do it.
So we didn't!
Yet at the beginning of January I just thought, go on, one more try and I got the potty out again, and this time we have sailed through. of course there have been one or two accidents, primarily because Ive been slow, or the wee hasnt been as contained as it should have been - we girls wee down, boys dont! Or a mess was made because his potty attached itself to his bottom and when he stood up the wee that was in the potty was no longer in the potty, but these have been handled with calm and a pile of kitchen towels and disinfectant. Generally he is happy to tell me when he needs a wee or a poo and he tells me with plenty of notice. I'm even - get me - considering ditching the nappies at night time because he is nearly always dry at night time too...
So that's it, this months grin is caused by Dylan, my darling boy being able to "go potty".
Friday, February 20, 2009
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Snow = Christmas.
This morning I opened the curtains and Dylan's face split into the biggest grin. He ran into the spare room and bounced upon the bead.
"Presents, Presents, I getting presents" he clapped his hands and jumped up and down with delight.
"Why are you getting presents lovely?", I asked. He looked at me his little face serious, all bouncing stopped.
"Because mommie, its snowding and santa claus comes when it snowdes".
So I had to explain and yes his little face crumpled and tears glistened in his eyes "nope presents mommie!"
"No presents Dylan". Ah cruel mommie!
"Presents, Presents, I getting presents" he clapped his hands and jumped up and down with delight.
"Why are you getting presents lovely?", I asked. He looked at me his little face serious, all bouncing stopped.
"Because mommie, its snowding and santa claus comes when it snowdes".
So I had to explain and yes his little face crumpled and tears glistened in his eyes "nope presents mommie!"
"No presents Dylan". Ah cruel mommie!
Monday, January 26, 2009
Hooch had a birthday...
And I kinda missed it, not because Im a bad friend, which it kinda feels like, but because Im full of cold, living in snot and hiding...
But I wished really hard, and I wished her a wonderful day, a fantastic year, and friends who wouldnt do what Im doing...
She is a gorgeous woman,
with a beautiful heart
and killer legs.
Happy Birthday Hooch!
But I wished really hard, and I wished her a wonderful day, a fantastic year, and friends who wouldnt do what Im doing...
She is a gorgeous woman,
with a beautiful heart
and killer legs.
Happy Birthday Hooch!
Friday, January 23, 2009
22 days in
And Ive got another bally cold.
Bugger I hate this constant round of runny noses and sore throats. I managed to get through the sing and sign class this morning, but now Im off to bed, first a hot bath, then snuggled with hot water bottle and the desire to breath deeply, without coughing up my guts or snotting all over the place.
I hate colds!!!!
Thank god Keefe has got Dylan tonight.
Bugger I hate this constant round of runny noses and sore throats. I managed to get through the sing and sign class this morning, but now Im off to bed, first a hot bath, then snuggled with hot water bottle and the desire to breath deeply, without coughing up my guts or snotting all over the place.
I hate colds!!!!
Thank god Keefe has got Dylan tonight.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Ach, January has just flown by.
Jesus, I really want to get on top of blogging, but by the time the time comes to sit down and do the stuff, it just all goes to pot and I tend to end up washing the floor or ironing - you know, the important stuff in life.
Anyway whats been happening this month so far.
Work, is still pretty crappy, no one knows what is happening, the restructure situation just keeps going on and on. I don't know what will happen at the end of March, but I kinda get the idea that my current job will definitely no longer exist. I should be offered work within the council, but Ive no idea what it is, or where I will be working. But hey, its a job and will pay the bills, which is more than a lot of people can say at the moment.
Sing and Sign has started, Ive got 6 classes running over 3 two hour sessions. I really love doing this and am really thinking seriously about taking over the franchise, but its a scary thought - self employed - and I'm not sure I'm brave enough just now.
Dylan, my lovely, lovely boy is going through a very weird stage right now and I don't know what to do about it.
He is beautiful and makes me smile on an hourly, ney minutely basis. He is so tuned into life, coming out with some amazing things, he plays so beautifully on his own, and plays so gently with his friends. He is very good at sharing - Proud Mum!!!
BUT - he has become very scared when we are out and about, almost clingy. He used to be this really outgoing, try anything child. Three months ago, I couldn't stop him sliding down the big boys slide, now its almost impossible to get him to climb the steps on the baby slide.
We went to Whitehouse farm the weekend just gone and he was "scared" of the animals. This the child who ran amok with chickens and would happily climb into a field with cows. He didn't want to play on the park climbing frame cause he might fall, and he certainly didn't want to play on the "big boy bikes", he was "just a little boy".
I don't understand the change, or why it's happened, I think that maybe it has something to do with him being really poorly over Christmas, its probably knocked his confidence, he was sick a lot of the time and we did tend to coddle him, telling him he was a poor baby, but I kinda just want my brave baby back.
I'm working hard at encouraging him, pushing at boundaries that were not there before but are there now and generally discussing his fears and letting him know that whilst he is growing up, he is still just a "little boy" who is very clever and very loved.
Anyway whats been happening this month so far.
Work, is still pretty crappy, no one knows what is happening, the restructure situation just keeps going on and on. I don't know what will happen at the end of March, but I kinda get the idea that my current job will definitely no longer exist. I should be offered work within the council, but Ive no idea what it is, or where I will be working. But hey, its a job and will pay the bills, which is more than a lot of people can say at the moment.
Sing and Sign has started, Ive got 6 classes running over 3 two hour sessions. I really love doing this and am really thinking seriously about taking over the franchise, but its a scary thought - self employed - and I'm not sure I'm brave enough just now.
Dylan, my lovely, lovely boy is going through a very weird stage right now and I don't know what to do about it.
He is beautiful and makes me smile on an hourly, ney minutely basis. He is so tuned into life, coming out with some amazing things, he plays so beautifully on his own, and plays so gently with his friends. He is very good at sharing - Proud Mum!!!
BUT - he has become very scared when we are out and about, almost clingy. He used to be this really outgoing, try anything child. Three months ago, I couldn't stop him sliding down the big boys slide, now its almost impossible to get him to climb the steps on the baby slide.
We went to Whitehouse farm the weekend just gone and he was "scared" of the animals. This the child who ran amok with chickens and would happily climb into a field with cows. He didn't want to play on the park climbing frame cause he might fall, and he certainly didn't want to play on the "big boy bikes", he was "just a little boy".
I don't understand the change, or why it's happened, I think that maybe it has something to do with him being really poorly over Christmas, its probably knocked his confidence, he was sick a lot of the time and we did tend to coddle him, telling him he was a poor baby, but I kinda just want my brave baby back.
I'm working hard at encouraging him, pushing at boundaries that were not there before but are there now and generally discussing his fears and letting him know that whilst he is growing up, he is still just a "little boy" who is very clever and very loved.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
White house
Keefe is off doing work/play things so I got to play with Dylan this morning. I rang Annette and asked if she wanted to come to the Whitehouse farm with me. She wasnt feeling so hot, but Tom, her hubby said he would join me.
I then called Ruth, with Josh, who was up for it, as was Renatta, with Danny. So wellies, cold weather gear and a desire to play firmly installed we headed up to Northumberland.
The Farm, last year, was a staple place to visit. It takes about 30 mins to drive there and can fill an afternoon, or a full day, depending on the weather.
It was bitterly cold when we arrived, first ones there, so we doned coats, hats and gloves and headed to the warmth of the shop. Dylan found dinosaurs and cows...
Then we headed down to see the petting animals, some HUGE rabbits, some reptiles and some chickens. The goats, which Dylan loved last year, were scary, and I ended up feeding them. It took me ages to get him to approach them and then he kept saying they would bite him. I didnt push!!
Tom, Orla, Renatta and Danny turfed up, after taking a small diversion, and we all headed up to the big sheds where the pigs, cows, goats, Llamas and horses were waiting for us.
The gang on thier way to see the animals - Brrrrrr!
Some radiators - or reindeers as we know them.
We brave few!
Renatta and Danny
Tom and Orla
Then we played - or rather the others played, Dylan was scared!!!
Then we raced
Sadly all this excitement was too much for Dylan and we departed in tears. Poor wee man!!!
I then called Ruth, with Josh, who was up for it, as was Renatta, with Danny. So wellies, cold weather gear and a desire to play firmly installed we headed up to Northumberland.
The Farm, last year, was a staple place to visit. It takes about 30 mins to drive there and can fill an afternoon, or a full day, depending on the weather.
It was bitterly cold when we arrived, first ones there, so we doned coats, hats and gloves and headed to the warmth of the shop. Dylan found dinosaurs and cows...
Then we headed down to see the petting animals, some HUGE rabbits, some reptiles and some chickens. The goats, which Dylan loved last year, were scary, and I ended up feeding them. It took me ages to get him to approach them and then he kept saying they would bite him. I didnt push!!
Tom, Orla, Renatta and Danny turfed up, after taking a small diversion, and we all headed up to the big sheds where the pigs, cows, goats, Llamas and horses were waiting for us.
The gang on thier way to see the animals - Brrrrrr!
Some radiators - or reindeers as we know them.
We brave few!
Renatta and Danny
Tom and Orla
Then we played - or rather the others played, Dylan was scared!!!
Then we raced
Sadly all this excitement was too much for Dylan and we departed in tears. Poor wee man!!!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
The Goose is getting fat...
Yes, yes, Christmas is coming, and yes the goose is getting fat, Ive been desperately trying to reign in the Christmas madness.
"No mum, we do not need beef, turkey, ham and pork on Christmas day. No mum cooking dozens of mince pies is not necessary to our happiness. No mum I dont think we need a starter, a main course, a desert, christmas pudding and cheese, surely just the main meal, mince pies (cause no one likes Christmas pudding) and cheese is more than enough".
Dylan's present pile has increased with each passing day, and there is a small element of shame that fills me, is this all necessary. As a child I remember such fun Christmases, yes we had presents, but did we have this much stuff! Probably, but it still feels like too much.
Am I being unrealistic to want a nice family day, with a few gifts, that are wanted, not that are brought for the sake of buying something. I want to spend time with my parents and my gorgous boy. Is it too much to ask!
Am I being a kill joy?
"No mum, we do not need beef, turkey, ham and pork on Christmas day. No mum cooking dozens of mince pies is not necessary to our happiness. No mum I dont think we need a starter, a main course, a desert, christmas pudding and cheese, surely just the main meal, mince pies (cause no one likes Christmas pudding) and cheese is more than enough".
Dylan's present pile has increased with each passing day, and there is a small element of shame that fills me, is this all necessary. As a child I remember such fun Christmases, yes we had presents, but did we have this much stuff! Probably, but it still feels like too much.
Am I being unrealistic to want a nice family day, with a few gifts, that are wanted, not that are brought for the sake of buying something. I want to spend time with my parents and my gorgous boy. Is it too much to ask!
Am I being a kill joy?
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Christmas Fayre
Because the nursery has been so fantastic over the last couple of months with mums various hospital appointments and crappy illnesses I volunteered to Victoria a non gratis session at the Christmas Fayre. I was actually pretty nervous because Ive only done three Christmas sessions and I only got the training video last week from Jane, but I'd promised and a promise is a promise.
Mum and dad came with Dylan and I. Dad took the photo's, mum entertained Dylan with painting, visiting Santa Claus and playing with Baby Jesus and I entertained the hordes...
Mum and dad came with Dylan and I. Dad took the photo's, mum entertained Dylan with painting, visiting Santa Claus and playing with Baby Jesus and I entertained the hordes...
Friday, December 12, 2008
Dylan's First Nativity Play
I couldnt believe it, today was really lovely, he joined in, he danced and he sat, quiet without singing, when they were expected to.
To see a larger image, just click on the collage.
It was a really lovely half an hour, and I know its really mumsie, but I WAS SOOOO PROUD - and yes, before anyone asks I cried.
To see a larger image, just click on the collage.
It was a really lovely half an hour, and I know its really mumsie, but I WAS SOOOO PROUD - and yes, before anyone asks I cried.
Friday, December 05, 2008
Dont put your son on the stage Mrs Browning....
Oh my dear, well what can one say...
Its all been a very stressful few weeks. Dylan, whilst enjoying much of his new nursery room has apparently had some teething problems.
Hmmm - today cheryl, caterpillars room leader approached me when I picked Dylan up.
"Shannon, we have a slight problem with Dylan".
"Oh, what? Is everything ok".
"Oh yes, everything is fine" reassuring smile. "Its just that he is getting a little bit distressed when we are doing the rehearsals for the nativity play.
I laughed, "He's not jumping up and singing "I wanta move it, move it?"
"Well yes, he is, but we keep trying to make him sit still and thats what's distressing him. We might have to bring him out to you when we do the play, I just didnt want you to worry!"
Worry!
My god, does this mean my child is going to be a stageaphobe.
Actually that wasnt what my initial thought was, but those who know Keefe and I and know we have both stomped upon the boards we loving call AmDram, it was a slight niggle thought in the back of my mind - NOT REALLY, well maybe a little!
"Oh OK, no problems" I said and giggled.
I went home and told mum and dad and Keefe, who all said "Dylan, stage shy - NEVER!!".
Whatcha gonna do... force the issue? Damn right I am, now where are those dress up clothes!!!
Its all been a very stressful few weeks. Dylan, whilst enjoying much of his new nursery room has apparently had some teething problems.
Hmmm - today cheryl, caterpillars room leader approached me when I picked Dylan up.
"Shannon, we have a slight problem with Dylan".
"Oh, what? Is everything ok".
"Oh yes, everything is fine" reassuring smile. "Its just that he is getting a little bit distressed when we are doing the rehearsals for the nativity play.
I laughed, "He's not jumping up and singing "I wanta move it, move it?"
"Well yes, he is, but we keep trying to make him sit still and thats what's distressing him. We might have to bring him out to you when we do the play, I just didnt want you to worry!"
Worry!
My god, does this mean my child is going to be a stageaphobe.
Actually that wasnt what my initial thought was, but those who know Keefe and I and know we have both stomped upon the boards we loving call AmDram, it was a slight niggle thought in the back of my mind - NOT REALLY, well maybe a little!
"Oh OK, no problems" I said and giggled.
I went home and told mum and dad and Keefe, who all said "Dylan, stage shy - NEVER!!".
Whatcha gonna do... force the issue? Damn right I am, now where are those dress up clothes!!!
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Moving up to Caterpillars
A week or so ago Dylan's Key worker, Vicky, said that Dylan was going to be "popping" into the next room up - the Caterpillars room, this is for children 2yrs and 9 months to 4years - he wouldn't be going up till after Christmas but it was going to be an introduction.
At the end of last week Vicky and Sally, the Tweenies room leader, had a chat with me to say that they thought he and Jamie, Dylan's friend were ready and happy to move up right then and there....
Oh my goodness...
He's moving up to the big boys room...
My baby is no longer a baby!!!
At the end of last week Vicky and Sally, the Tweenies room leader, had a chat with me to say that they thought he and Jamie, Dylan's friend were ready and happy to move up right then and there....
Oh my goodness...
He's moving up to the big boys room...
My baby is no longer a baby!!!
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